Sadly, I know many women who don't have husbands that care. Their husbands are quite content living in their box of self-centered mirrors, not paying attention to much of what their wife is going through or battling. I know some husbands that deal with wives like that as well. It's definitely not one-sided.
I appreciate so much that Tom makes the effort to show he cares and even thinks about me and my junk and how he might lend a hand...an ear...a shoulder. It shows me that he cherishes me and doesn't see me as a burden he has to tolerate, but rather a friend he wants to help.
Not every woman is emotional or sensitive, but I happen to be both. :) I cry at the silliest commercials and movies. I feel deeply. I love passionately. I used to LOATHE myself for that. Seriously, I really hated that about myself when I was younger. One day, as I was praying for my beautiful niece, who happens to share those traits, the Lord whispered gently to me, "I made her this way. I made you this way. I have a purpose for your sensitivity. Tell her that the depth to which she hurts is the depth to which she also loves."
The longer I sat there in prayer, I realized that we indeed have a gift. No, it doesn't always feel like a gift when you are young and still ignorant of some things. However, as I have gained maturity, I have come to realize that most people aren't as compassionate and as empathetic as I am either. Most people don't see things from many points of view, to discern how a situation may affect/hurt others. I can easily see that most of the time.
I feel so blessed to have a husband that stood by me and loved me through that growth process! I feel sad for him, for all he has walked with me through. I know it wasn't easy, and he kind-of got a double whammy because I have an anxiety disorder too. If you husbands out there think a "normal" wife's emotions are a lot to live with, you should see one who battles fears that make no sense! But Tom has been such a rock for me...so patient and kind and long-suffering. He has shown me a tangible example of true grace right before my eyes. It has helped me grow in my love and trust of Jesus. It has taught me how Jesus cares for every detail of my life...that He accepts me just as I am and cheers me on, believing that through His power, I will overcome!
I love this portion of Scripture. It holds so many deep truths for a successful and joy-filled marriage, but the sad part is that it takes TWO willing parties.
Instructions for Christian Households
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I highlighted the parts above, not to point out to the husbands what they need to do, but to say that my husband has already CHOSEN to take these words to heart and DO THEM. Like Tom says, "It is easy to take a bullet for my wife. It is hard to walk in after a long day of work and do the dishes."
He would rather love himself more...lay down on the couch and veg out, but he CHOOSES to love me as if I am him and do things to be a blessing to me. THAT is true love and submitting to one another like that in our marriage is what has made our marriage a great one! We didn't always do this. We hurt each other in the past, but we searched out wisdom for a better way. Now we reap the rewards of consistent true love.
Tom and I have not done anything that others can't do as well. Neither of us were taught these things.
We searched, we learned, and we applied.
And now we enjoy.
God gave us the wisdom. Many sadly ignore it.
So to my adorable husband who gets frustrated that he can't always fix it, I say, "Thanks for trying! I treasure you."
Tom and I have not done anything that others can't do as well. Neither of us were taught these things.
We searched, we learned, and we applied.
And now we enjoy.
God gave us the wisdom. Many sadly ignore it.
So to my adorable husband who gets frustrated that he can't always fix it, I say, "Thanks for trying! I treasure you."
No comments:
Post a Comment