I fight shame when I look back over all our years together and think about the time I wasted being scared that he would hurt me. I hate to admit that I held his past choices against him. I wasn't trying to be mean; I was just so consumed with fear. It's truly terrible what fear can do to relationships, especially a marriage. I wish I hadn't been captive by fear.
I wish it hadn't taken me until I was in my 40's to find the rest of God that I live in now. I'm not sure what all I could've done differently. I spent years reading everything I could, trying to learn how to do it successfully...whatever that means. I'm thankful to live in the peace that passes understanding now.
We've both grown so much. I truly can say that I enjoy just being with him. It's heartbreaking how many couples don't even know how to just be with one another after their kids grow up. I don't want that to be our story!
I wish I had learned how to communicate openly and in love much sooner than I did. I rejoice that I have a husband who desires to understand me. I sure have been a pain in the butt I bet!
I wish I had been able to relax more when I was younger. I wish I hadn't been so overly concerned with trying to be the perfect wife and mother that I didn't make time to be one when I should have.
Things could've been different, but they have made us into the couple we are today. And that's okay...because I like us. I really, really like us. We do together well. And today, I'm just really thankful about that! :)
