One of Those Days

I'm having one of those days where I have to purposefully look for the blessing and joy of our circumstances.

My honey works out of town a lot as I have mentioned before on this blog.  I miss his presence.  I miss everything that is him...well, probably not the little trails of messes he leaves around, but everything else :)

This week, he didn't get back in town until late afternoon on Saturday.  We had a dinner after church yesterday, so that took up a bulk of our day.  He came home and fixed computers and put things in order so the boys and I could keep moving along with schoolwork.  He also had to unpack, wash clothes, and repack.

By the time we got to bed last night, I could barely hold me eyes open.  He was up and gone before I ever awoke this morning.

Weeks like this really wear on me and the kids, and I can only assume they wear on Tom as well.

We both have so many responsibilities to keep up with and though we try to be good about saying no and setting boundaries and keeping the most important things top priority, it is hard!

I got up and exercised this morning, trying to be diligent to take the best care of myself since I deal with some chronic illness.  I showered and met with the Lord and then started cleaning up the house.  Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, making the bed... 

The vacuum stopped working correctly.  Cabinet doors are falling off hinges.  The carpet needs stretched because I am tripping over portions of it that are lifting.  Every cabinet and drawer really needs cleaned out, wiped down, and organized again.  I sweep.  I mop.  I drop something and then see the floor closer.  GROSS.

I start to get agitated, feeling like I live in a pig sty, while logically telling myself to chill out because I have a very nice home, clean, running water, working vehicles, a sound income...

Do you ever feel that war in yourself?  Agitated and frustrated, yet knowing you should be walking in utter thanksgiving and your problems are really no big deal on the scale of life?!!!

And really...like I want to ask my husband to do one more thing after he has driven hundreds of miles in a week and worked for hours!

It's one of those days when I battle inside being so thankful for all we have and all my husband is willing to do and just wanting him to be around more.

Help me be thankful today Father.