Monday, January 8, 2018

I Wish I Had...

I was thinking today about how grateful I am for my sweet husband. 

I fight shame when I look back over all our years together and think about the time I wasted being scared that he would hurt me. I hate to admit that I held his past choices against him. I wasn't trying to be mean; I was just so consumed with fear. It's truly terrible what fear can do to relationships, especially a marriage. I wish I hadn't been captive by fear.

I wish it hadn't taken me until I was in my 40's to find the rest of God that I live in now. I'm not sure what all I could've done differently. I spent years reading everything I could, trying to learn how to do it successfully...whatever that means. I'm thankful to live in the peace that passes understanding now.

We've both grown so much. I truly can say that I enjoy just being with him. It's heartbreaking how many couples don't even know how to just be with one another after their kids grow up. I don't want that to be our story!

I wish I had learned how to communicate openly and in love much sooner than I did. I rejoice that I have a husband who desires to understand me. I sure have been a pain in the butt I bet!

I wish I had been able to relax more when I was younger. I wish I hadn't been so overly concerned with trying to be the perfect wife and mother that I didn't make time to be one when I should have.

Things could've been different, but they have made us into the couple we are today. And that's okay...because I like us. I really, really like us. We do together well. And today, I'm just really thankful about that! :)

1 comment:

  1. Mindy, my beautiful friend. Thanks for this. I was reading my own posts from a few years ago and was reminded to see if you had anything new. Thanks for encouragement to not waste time fussing but to chill out and enjoy the journey (Joey in my head too).
    My life has made me who I am today but I can choose to respond differently too. I am learning.
    Love you

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